Midreshet Amit

Torah

Back to Main Page

Life Lessons from Yaakov and Eisav

By: Rachel Breuer-Weil

This week’s parsha, Parshat VaYishlach, starts with the confrontation between Yaakov and his brother Esav. Prior to the confrontation, Yaakov davens to Hashem to protect him “from the hand of  my brother, from the hand of Esav” (Bereishit 32:12). A closer look reveals that Yaakov is really davening to be saved from two different things: first, from the hand of his brother, and then from the hand of Esav. Rabbi Eli Scheller suggests that Yaakov is first and foremost worried about the negative influence that his brother might have over him spiritually, given that they are siblings and therefore share a connection that might make Yaakov susceptible to Esav’s influence.  Second, Yaakov is also afraid that Esav, being who he is, might physically harm him.

It is understandable that Yaakov is primarily concerned about being influenced by Esav’s values, given how different their values are from each other.  These differences are highlighted in the exchange that takes place between the 2 brothers when they first encounter each other after so many years apart.  At one point, Yaakov offers Esav some of his animals as a peace offering.  Esav declines, saying, “I have plenty.”  To encourage Esav to take them, Yaakov responds, “I have everything.” Rabbi Adam Lieberman suggests that Esav saying, “I have plenty,” shows that he focused on material possessions; Esav certainly owned plenty of animals and riches. In contrast, Yaakov’s words, “I have everything,” show that he was really focusing on what truly matters most - his family.   Certainly it was not possible that Yaakov thought he personally owned everything; therefore, he clearly was referring to his wives and children who surrounded him. 

Many people unfortunately live their lives by Esav’s world-view by being primarily focused on acquiring material possessions and achieving financial goals.  But when it comes down to it, when a person is buried, his or her tombstone is covered in phrases such as beloved husband, wife, grandparent, father, mother or child, and not by what they owned. We should learn from this that we should try and live our lives by Yaakov’s world-view and focus on our families and developing meaningful relationships, rather than Esav’s.